I visit the Canada.com site for Saskatoon daily to get local news, and today I saw an ad that I found totally hilarious. Between two Canadian Tire logos, there’s a line of text that says (and I quote) “Order flowers for Valentine’s Day at canadiantire.ca.*” Why? Why? Why? Only in Canada would you see a website hocking flowers and a MIG welder on the same page.

Note to Erin - you’re not getting canadiantire.ca flowers for valentines day.

Note to all the arrogant bastards out there: You will be charged by the phone company. Gee, I wonder if someone will end up losing their job over that (”Honestly sir, I didn’t mean to type in ‘arrogant bastard,’ I meant to type ‘Error: plant baster’”)

You all know that I have a Jackie Chan DVD collection that’s constantly growing. Well, Davey Jones sent me a link to a Jackie Chan video that I had to share. It’s from the movie “City Hunter” which I do not have as of yet, and it’s completely hilarious. If you’ve ever played any of the Street Fighter games, you’ll appreciate the scene, even if you’re not a big Jackie Chan fan (in which case, you’re not welcome here. Get out. Just kidding.) The video can be found here. It’s a WMV (so you’ll need Windows Media Player to view it) and it’s about 9 Megs, so if you’re on dialup, you’ve been warned.

Simpson’s quote of the day:
Homer: “Uh, I’d like some flowers.”
Florist: “What kind of flowers?”
Homer: “Uh, you know, pretty ones, not dead.”

I rarely watch figure skating. I don’t like watching judged sporting events because usually I can’t tell how people should be scored, beyond saying “these two competitors were clearly the best, the rest are about even.” That being said, I don’t think the gold medalists from last night’s pairs figure skating even deserved a silver medal - they skated fine, but in my mind, Sale and Pelletier skated better, as did the American pair of Ina and Zimmerman. I know I should know better, but my jaw hit the floor when I saw the scores come up for the gold medalists, and it hit the floor in the basement when the second set of scores came up for Sale and Pelletier. I haven’t had a severe problem with the judging in the other two judged events that I’ve watched this year - both Ski Jumping and the Snowboard Halfpipe seem to have the judging system in hand - give each judge a specific responsibility, and total the scores. That way, it’s quite easy to point to a specific part of the performance and say “Yes, that’s why person A beat person B” Like I said, I’m no expert figure skating analyst, but I think that the reason for all the outcry is because there is absolutely no reason given for the marks being what they are. I think at least that way, you can feel free to disagree with an opinion, but the way things stand, no opinion is offered beyond “5.9″ or whatever.

I shoulda known better though, the figure skating judging at the olympics has never been any different.

By the way - 14 seconds left - ouch. That’s twice where a late goal has cost the Habs a point. They’ve gotta tighten up their late defensive game.

Simpsons quote of the day - Lionel Hutz (Attorney at law) : “That’s why you’re the judge, and I’m the law.. talkin’.. guy.”

I found this page, which is a neat little demonstration of what someone can do to your browser if you let them - don’t worry, it’s nothing bad, just make your browser smaller than full screen, and watch the little guy go.

Went out for lunch today, so not much time to post. Maybe I’ll make up for it tomorrow, maybe I won’t. You’ll have to deal with it :)

Simpsons quote of the day - Homer: “Sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports, sports. Marge, Bart gets to ride up in the front seat today because he’s a good guy at sports.”

I got sent a link for Worth1000 and a reminder about Invisibles which I hadn’t visited in quite some time today. I had planned on linking Worth1000 today (or soon anyway) and the reminder about Invisibles was well timed. If you’ve never been to either of them, I’ll give you a brief description.

Worth1000 is a site that has photoshop contests. They give people a theme, and people fake up pictures to go along with the theme. Some of the fakes are really well done, some of them suck. On the whole, if you have a decent connection to the net, check it out.

Invisibles is a specific type of photoshop work however. It kind of has to be seen to be believed. The people who run it take a still from a movie, then photoshop out the actors - leaving their clothes behind. The effect is to make it look exactly as if the actors were all “invisible” - ie. no holes in the background. It’s really well done. Apparently they’re still running their contests there too.

Enjoy those links.

As for why I wasn’t at work yesterday - I stepped off the curb Wednesday on my way in to work, and my back was suddenly in intense pain. It was bearable for Wednesday, but Thursday morning, I could barely move without excruciating pain all up and down my back. Everything seems back to normal today though (a little sore in the morning, but mostly normal now)

Bizarre. I suspect it has to do with the time I got checked headfirst into the boards from behind at a hockey tournament as a kid - I had a brief period of unconsciousness and all that fun stuff, and when I got up, I went right back into the game…Wacky. I bet that doesn’t happen as often anymore.

Simpson’s quote of the day - Homer “Let us celebrate with the adding of chocolate to milk.”

Apparently people who have a problem with someone don’t even have to sully their hands by lighting their own bag of dog crap on fire anymore… Send A Dead Fish lets you do just that. I pity the poor delivery people more and more every day.

On a completely unrelated note: Ross (Al’s brother) is a comedy genius. I won’t say that the stuff on his mp3.com site is his best work, but it is pretty good. Check it out here. Mp3.com asks you for an email address before it lets you download stuff, but you all have a fake email address that you use in situations like that, right? (Poor John@hotmail.com…Not that that’s my fake email address)

Have you ever taken a quote out of context and used it mercilessly? I have. I no longer refer to people as “jerks,” I call them “jerkstores” instead. In fact, my brothers do it too. I’m not sure which one of us started it - I know I’ve also been using jerkstore as a replacement curse for some time now, but I suspect that Davey Jones was the one responsible for the current usage coming into popularity. Why do you care? You probably don’t, but I wanted to use a krunk link.

Oh. Some people have asked me why I do this website. My response is because I enjoy writing crap like this, and enjoy reading it later on. I just read through the archives a week ago or so, and I was right, that Savardian Spin-O-Rama thing had me laughing all over again. As long as I amuse myself I guess.

Simpson’s quote double shot -
Homer: “Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.”

Mr Burns: “Who’s that idiot, drinking water as if it were free?”

I found a link to the rest of the superbowl ads at IFilm If I recall, the require a registration, but otherwise it’s free. I haven’t checked it out from here, cause I suspect the same proxy problems will plague me to the end of days.

In other news, I’m thinking of hosting a “Canada is playing Hockey” bash for every single one of Canada’s Olympic Men’s hockey games. If you’re reading this, then you’re invited. The only problem is that I might get sent away on training, which might impact my availability for hockey bash hosting - I’m sure Erin won’t host in my absence. I’ll keep you posted.

Simpsons quote of the day - Homer: “D’Oh” Talk about a cop-out…

Sadly, Expressvu did not run the traditional “SDTV” feed of the superbowl, so we were not treated to the American commercials this year. Fear not though, because Budweiser has put their commercials online here.

I can’t watch them from work - likely a firewall/proxy issue. I’ll have to check them out from home and give my reviews at a later date.

As for the superbowl itself - like I told lots of people, the Patriots were a much better team than most people were giving them credit for. All in all, the game was entertaining, though I’ve got to disagree with the selection of MVP - clearly this was a game that was won by the defense, and a defensive player should have been named MVP. Without the interception for a TD, and the fumble recovery that led to the other TD, the Patriots would not have been in position to win the game with that last play field goal.

Simpsons quote of the day: Homer - “Ah, good old trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.”